I’m walking a bit faster than I’d like to and my breathing is becoming quicker and more shallow with each breath.
I should have taken the bus to prevent this from happening but I had already resolved to walk since I woke up early and wore my runners.
I make it on time. With two minutes to spare. I say a quick prayer, take a deep breath (as deep as I could which was not very deep) and walk inside.
“Hi, I had an appointment at 9.30…”
“…sure, let’s have a look…”
“I’m sorry, but your appointment was cancelled…”
I let out a sigh of disappointment? Relief? I’m not really sure. The receptionist continues to apologise and I find myself reassuring her. She proceeds to do a bunch of things to try to help. But at that point, a part of me just wanted to give up. I tell her it’s okay and that she needn’t try anymore, but she insists, so I let her. So, I decide to keep the door open for a bit longer.
I leave the place somewhat relieved. I step outside and feel the cool breeze and warmth of the morning sun peaking through the maple trees and I breath it all in with thankfulness to God for His glory and magnificence revealed through His creation. I smile, because I know I’m loved.
Although it was tempting to think, “Man, well that was a complete was of my time which I could have spent studying”. I know that it wasn’t a waste at all. I know that everything happens for a purpose, and I was thankful that I stepped out of the house to get some fresh air, get a bit of light exercise, listen to a podcast on suffering, reflected and meditated on God’s word and even did a little grocery shopping to prepare lunch for my family. My heart and mind was filled with peace and I was reminded that God ultimately knows exactly what I need most, because I wouldn’t have done these things otherwise, and probably would have been at home grumbling and complaining about not being able to focus on studying.
As I am writing this, I am feeling a bit dizzy and light-headed probably from the lack of oxygen to my brain but I won’t let it bother me because I’m feeling inexpressible peace and joy. I pray that I’ll continue to find quality time to spend with my Heavenly Father, and to be thankful for every situation that I’m in, including this difficult time right now.
All praise and glory be to God!